BDSM and Civil Rights

Fetish Meme

Sadomasochism and Freedom

Cop with big ugly gun.

In American how a person spends his money may be defended as a form of free speech. How one uses his body derided as immoral.

When Alberto Gonzales was US Attorney General BDSM educational sites closed down because kink sites were targeted by federal law enforcement officials.

In Canada Peter Hayes says the Vancouver Police Department denied him as a chauffer’s permit because he enjoys BDSM. And BDSM is a ‘cult.’

In Scotland a MP called for legislation to insure men and women participating in consensual BDSM weren’t arrested as sex criminals.

Do kinky people need legal protection from moral meddlers and district attorney’s looking for publicity?

Or can we count on social progress to eventually leave sadists and masochists safe from unjust arrest and prosecution?

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Sadomasochism and Sexual Orientation

BDSM Psychology

Velvet Underground, fetish sexuality.

Shouldn’t an adequate model of personal sexuality include sadism, masochism, dominance, submission, kinks and fetishes?

Sexual performance - the desire to beat another or be the target of a whipping - is as much a part of sexual orientation and identity as the gender of who you want to interact with sexually. And for certain women and men a specialized erotic act - licking boots, trampling on someone - is the most desired, perhaps even the exclusive source of sexual pleasure.

Aren’t your S&M and D/s desires and needs as much of your sexuality as anything else about you?

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What Kind of Sadist Do You Want?

For Bottoms, S&M and D/s Play

What Delights Your Masochist’s Heart?

House of Torture by Gene Bilbrew, drawing as Van Rod.
Gene Bilbrew as Van Rod

I find the flipside of the prior post much more difficult to formulate. I’m so masochistic that my mind fuzzes and fuses when trying to make distinctions.

I know that I should want a practiced and skilled sadist, one who can inflict pain without injuring or damaging me seriously. (S&M should be safer than, say, pro football.)

The sadist must enjoy hurting me. It is her / his delectation in my suffering that is the necessary ingredient to enable me to convert pleasure in to - sometimes deferred - pain.

As much as I like to be beaten, caned, whipped I’d want a sadistic top who would enjoy hurting me in divers ways: genital torment, inconvenient bondage, odd and peculiar pains.

Since I’m an emotional masochist I’d ideally want someone who enjoys the psychodrama of degradation and humiliation. But I know that some nice sadists can’t cope, don’t enjoy anything beyond purely physical S&M.

As a bottom when you think of a partner for sadomasochistic play what images, thoughts and desires spring into your mind?

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What Kind of Masochist Do You Want?

For Tops, S&M and D/s Play

What Do You Want From a Pain Bottom?

Male masochist beaten to tears.
Often I fantasized of being him (detail from my favorite Gene Bilbrew illustration).

A top profile that specified that the man didn’t want selfish stoics gave me a moment’s pause. I have a fairly stoic temperament. A quality that has proven handy and helped me get through many a rough patch.

Whip me and I’ll whimper and writhe. But I have disappointed by just sort of accepting my fate. I desire to be degraded but am very difficult to humiliate. Want me to drink your piss? Sure, no problem. I don’t mind. I’m sorry that I don’t mind. I really wish I did.

What do you want from a masochistic bottom? How important is his or her visible suffering?

  • Do you want to hear whimpers?
  • To see the body jerk?
  • For the bottom to break down into tears?
  • To beg you to stop?
  • To safeword?

Do you want a wholly submissive masochist or do you enjoy a bratty one whose attitude drives you to greater intensity?

What makes your sadism burn brightest?

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Why Are Women Better Than Men?

Female Domination

Supreme Femdom Goddess.

Woman as Superior Goddess

Not that I think they are.

But many of you - i.e., submissive and masochistic men - think women are better than men.

My own suspicion is that the primary appeal of this belief is that it justifies in the man’s mind his cravings for humiliation and pain. Enables him to overcome the social taboos that surround his kinks.

But if you believe in female superiority / supremacy what do you attribute the inequality to?

  • Biology? Do women have superior genes, some sort of chromosomal superiority?
  • Socialization? The differences in the ways each gender has been during childhood? Their upbringing makes girls full of sugar, spice and everything nice?
  • Spiritual, magical forces? Some sort of neopagan Goddess pervades the universe and imparts her holiness to earthly women?

Why is a woman better than you? Better than me?

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Sissified Orgasm Denial Cuckolded Small Penis Humiliation Chastity

Female Domination

This is one site that has proven a bust. And I surrender to Fetish Meme’s logs and …

Cruel femdom mistress

Males should be denied orgasms because

Continue reading "Sissified Orgasm Denial Cuckolded Small Penis Humiliation Chastity" »

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Misinformation

For Bottoms, For Tops, Power Exchange, S&M and D/s Play, Safety

Lies! Damn Lies! And Misinformation!

Sexual Misinformation

In learning about your atypical sexuality you must have had misperceptions and misinformation to get past.

Were you misled or confused by what you read or heard:

  • Books
  • Magazine Articles
  • Friends
  • Psychologists / Psychiatrists
  • People in the Scene
  • Websites / Blogs
  • People You Hooked Up with

Did you need to dispel misconceptions:

  • Rules of Deportment /Etiquette
  • Addressing Others, Speech Patterns
  • How to Use Toys (Whips, etc.)
  • Bondage Safety
  • Your Rights
  • Others’ Rights

What is a:

  • Real Slave
  • True Mistress / Master

Did any of this do much damage to your progress, self-esteem? Induce self-doubt?

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Hairbrushes and Paddles

Play

Three toy questions in one day.

Woman spanked illustration by Gene Bilbrew
Pink cheek by Gene Bilbrew

Boys were still paddled when I was in junior high school (not me, I was a goody-goody). That leaves them sexless-seeming to me. But not to many others. And there is such a variety: plain wood, Plexiglas, leather covered with maybe a few bumps to add to the impact.

I’ve read people writing about their struggle to find just the right hairbrush for corporal punishment. And they sometimes spend a considerable sum on their choice. (I tried buying hairbrushes for my prior partner but she always used them on her hair. Oh well, none of the wooden spoons I bought ever went to make a meal.)

If you are involved in paddling o

r using a hairbrush for a spanking what makes a particular one ideal? What qualities do you look for?

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Cheap BDSM Toy

Play

Wagon wheels as cacti and bondage gear. The Sadist Queen of the Wild West knew how to take advantage of found objects when it came to S&M.

Female sadist ties man to cactus.

What is the best bargain you have in your toy collection? A common item you found at a discount or thrift store? A simple toy you constructed yourself?

Even though it may not seem like much it has afforded you considerable pleasure, which is what we do all this fetish stuff for anyway.

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Expensive BDSM Toy

Play

A Spanking Bench.

What is your most costly item of BDSM gear? How much did you spend? What drew you to it.

Or what has been your most elaborate do-it-yourself kinky project?

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Read More : Earlier Posts

Female Led Relationships


Fetish Pop Culture


BDSM Romance


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